What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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