We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
