Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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