just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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