Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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