when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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