You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
