"it" just moved
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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