I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
