Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
