It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just high enough for therapy.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
