My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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