Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
