barbara walters just said penis...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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