I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize