SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
