I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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