she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
