well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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