YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize