apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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