party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
