I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
