bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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