Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
