I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
