at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Sorry about my life...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
