I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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