Just fell off a train. Bad.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
