I cannot find my penis.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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