I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
