Ambien. No doubt about it.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
