Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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