is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
