Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
