if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
