Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize