Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
