tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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