we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
