You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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