Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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