DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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