Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
