Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize