return my video game
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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