I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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