2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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