You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
