Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
