he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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