You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
