she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
