I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
