i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize