we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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