yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
