Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Randomize
