Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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