There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
