Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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