doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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