This girl is more easily done than said...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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