He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
