remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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