i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
