You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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