im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I have so many feelings about this burrito
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
