Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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