Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
