drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
