very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
