so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
