new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize