I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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