i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
