So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
porn star boner night. come get it.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
