I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
im holly from the hills drunk
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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